This blogpost is part of a conversation between Sarah and Jill, during a short 2-
session course on ‘Developing Inner Companionship through Song’ held online a week apart. It conveys Sarah’s developing relationship with one of the songs in Jill’s book. She starts with really enjoying singing it aloud, but with Jill’s facilitation she begins to explore a deeper relationship with the song and with herself, letting go of some of her initial assumptions and habits around music and singing. Sarah then discovers she can get so much more than she initially believed possible ...
During the first session, each participant chose one of Jill’s songs to spend time with.
Sarah chose I See Beauty – No. 3 in the book.
Sarah Because of my musical background, (I also teach songs), I really had to let go and
get into a [quieter] space. Gradually I was able to let go, and started ‘meeting’ the song as
I got past all the heady bit. I can feel emotions/tears now. I hadn’t been letting myself
before (it’s to do with what’s been going on lately). Beauty with all the grief and other stuff.
After the first session, Sarah shared the following, which prompted a conversation with Jill:
Sarah I felt very comforted by the song. Very soon I didn’t need to listen to the
recording: I was just singing it myself out loud, and sometimes then in my head a bit (when
I lost my voice).
During the week I got different things from it at different times ... So if I was already in a
very calm good space, it would accentuate that and make me feel more connected to
things, and more aware of all the wonderful, beautiful things in my life. If I was feeling a bit
down or stressed, it would begin to shift that mood, to remember that wonderful feeling. It
only took a few minutes. [see below for what Sarah later realised]
Jill Thank you Sarah. I have a question: you said sometimes you 'did it in your head'. Might
you be aware of any difference between having a song in our heads versus experiencing
it? It’s hard to describe what I mean by experiencing it; some of you might be able to find
words, but basically we can't really experience it when it's in our heads. You could say, ‘it's
in my heart’, but it might be more total even than that. When you weren't singing aloud,
did you notice any difference?
Sarah If I wasn't singing aloud – if my voice was going, or I got tired, or something – I
was going through it in my head, hearing the absolute sound of it. Is that different from
what you mean?
Jill I think what I mean could incorporate that. However, it can be much wider and fuller
than that.
Sarah It was definitely more powerful to be actually singing it.
Jill Okay, that's great. There’s just one bit of information I’d like to share, which you’ll find
in the book (eg in the Silent Singing chapter, and elsewhere, too): people often find it's
more powerful when they're not singing aloud!
Sarah Oh! I felt the opposite.
Jill Yes – and I would have said exactly the same before I embarked on this entire Giving Voice
Process myself, 30 or so years ago!
When we discover the power of the inner experience – and this is all explored in the entire
Silent Singing chapter – then we can explore how to bring that incredibly powerful quality
of experience into our singing.
So I'm just planting that seed in case it's of interest at some stage ...
[Sarah and other participants later had a chance to explore more on their own.]
Sarah I’ve now read a bit of the chapter about Silent Singing, and I found myself silently
mouthing the words (which I know can be an aspect of silent singing, though I know I
haven't read enough of that chapter yet). Is that okay?
Jill That's fine, absolutely fine. Yeah, it's a much more a whole body, whole being
experience ...
[Then participants had another chance to explore on their own]
Sarah That was amazing! I decided to play the recording first (I haven't done that for a
bit), and I was able to be really engaged with it rather than just listening to it.
I guess I was experiencing it more ... I was with it ...
Then, after the recording finished, I focused even more on the breath ...
[Then Sarah explains she explored an aspect of Silent Singing]
I stayed with that for a long, long time, which was when I felt really amazing. Yeah, I
found that I was smiling very much. I couldn't stop smiling! I had my eyes closed all the
time, I didn't want to open them ...
My body was moving. I then stood up, still with eyes closed, which showed how good my
balance was managing, because, I've got M.E., and I don't normally stand up with my eyes
closed. It was fine, so I stood up. My eyes were still closed, and I was still singing silently
and swaying and moving my arms.
It was a different sort of experience ... a whole body, experience, really whole body, like
the song took over my whole body. It was wonderful.
And of course what was so good about doing it here with you now is that I read some of
those bits you suggested, and then you gave us the chance to engage with the song for
those 20 minutes. That made a big difference. Previously I hadn’t been giving myself that
time. So I'll now know, won’t I?! – about giving myself the time to experience that.
Thank, you.
Jill There's so much richness you've shared, Sarah. So much – in the way of discovering
that you've encountered and given yourself. It was lovely to hear the gift you now know
you can give yourself.
And now you've had that experience, you've got more awareness of how you can
shortchange yourself – and what you can do to avoid that.
Thank you so much, Sarah.
Sarah Yes, I have more incentive to give myself that time, because I know what can
happen.
Jill Yes, and yet you need to be prepared for it being different, and you could even call it
disappointment. Or you could see it as okay ...
Sarah Hmm! I know what you mean ...
Jill ... The chapter on Personal Practice talks about that a little bit, and how to approach/
handle it. It's about not end-gaining, rather it’s about an honouring process: discovering
how to really honour the song, and then broadening that honouring – of everything,
including oneself. So it takes us beyond the self into something bigger – which is arguably
even more important.
Sarah Yes! This is in the book, but I know this from other practices – sometimes you kind
of emotionally feel ‘Well, I didn't get that much out of that’, but in fact, part of you really has
done, and it’s only later you realise ... Or you just have to believe, even know that it’s
having an effect ...
Jill Yes, and to get from A to B or X to Z or wherever, it can at times seem like we're in a
fallow period. And then we make another leap forward into discovering more, becoming
more ... In other words, we can't make a mistake.
Sarah ... or a down period, where we feel like we've gone backwards. But we haven't
really.
Jill Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for your sharing, Sarah.
[At the end of the second session, participants considered 'What next?’]
Sarah At the moment I want to stay with this song. I have no feeling at all of wanting
another ... I realise there's still so much more I can get from this song that I don't need to
actually change for a good while.
Jill Yes. Each of the songs in the book has a lot of potential.
Taking I See Beauty, the song Sarah’s been with: when we start to acknowledge beauty –
maybe literally what we see with our eyes, or with our soul, or heart, or what we hear or
feel – then the last line, “I create beauty wherever I go” – is so full of potential, as we start
to realise our place – and potential/actual role – in the general scheme of things.
Every moment we can be in that mode. The sky is the limit. And what a gift that is, way
beyond ourselves.
Sarah That's what I mean. It feels like that. That song’s good for me forever, you know.
Because there's always more ...
Caroline One of the things that Jill says is that maybe there’s only one song that you need
– for the rest of your life!
Sarah Yeah – totally! I experienced the song on all those levels with the seeing, the
hearing, feeling, and then the creating it just seemed to embody all of it beyond words.
Jill Yes, thank you for sharing that. It is beautiful to hear.
The song gave me so much when I created it, and it’s always amazing, and humbling, to
hear others experiencing something similar with it.
Finally
Jill It’s been very special to witness everyone this evening: your discoveries and new
observations. Thank you so much.
Sarah This evening has been really lovely. I really got a lot from the first session. So of
course I wanted to [come to the second one]. However I was conflicted because of wanting to be outside enjoying the nice weather! I feel like you know what I mean. But I'd committed to doing it, and it's just been wonderful. I've loved it so. Thank you.
[Sarah also said she’d begun to do what we call ‘personal practice’]: "I found it helpful to
schedule it at the beginning or the end of having a rest. If I just assumed I’d remember to
do it, this didn’t necessarily work".
We now do a rolling programme of these ‘mini-courses’, for people who have Jill’s book. They’re free to people who have the book, and anyone who has a copy can attend one. As Sarah reveals, they can really help with getting the most out of the book. Contact us if you'd like to join a forthcoming course.
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